Men Building Relationships
118 N. Clinton Street, Suite 307
Chicago , IL 60661
312.604.5013
www.victoriesoftheheart.net
Primary Modalities
Weekend Retreats, Support Groups – sacred ceremonies, mind-body work, psychodrama, communication skills, meditation
Founder/Owner: Bob Mark, Ph.D. and Buddy Portugal, LCSW

Mission

Describe your retreat center’s mission and what might make your retreat center unique.
At Victories of the Heart, we are men building relationships. Our programs offer powerful experiences which enable men to build deeper self-awareness, more authentic personal connections, and more satisfying lives. We work to help men to bring their best selves to the people whom they love and the communities where they live.
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Program Offerings

What types of retreats or programs do you offer?
We offer two core programs. The Initial Victories Weekend welcomes all men, while the Wisdom Years Weekend is for men over the age of 50.

Describe one or more of your retreats in detail.
The Initial Victories Weekend
There can be times in men’s lives when they feel hopeless and helpless…times when they struggle with troubled relationships, self-acceptance, isolation, and loss….times when they just feel “stuck.” These are the times when they so often turn to the Initial Victories Weekend.

Since 1985, this powerful retreat has helped more than 4,000 men to overcome their blocks and achieve real breakthroughs in their lives. During the program, led by experienced facilitators, a man can find a safe and supportive place to share his thoughts, explore his feelings, understand his past, and re-direct his future. Afterward, he can continue the weekend’s work by joining fellow participants in a long-term support group. As a result of the Initial Victories Weekend, he can take a giant step towards deeper self-understanding, building stronger relationships, and a brighter future.

The Wisdom Years Weekend
This retreat is an opportunity for men over 50 to look thoughtfully at the second half of adult life as they face some of its most profound questions. How can men live their later years with greater intentionality, heart, and health? How can they maintain a vital sense of purpose, connection, and community responsibility? How do they balance the hope for enriched living, deeper loving, and greater spirituality against their fears of separation, aging, and dying?

The Wisdom Years is designed to give participants a deeper understanding of their past and a new sense of anticipation about their future. Honest relationships and a heightened self-awareness are at the heart of the weekend, where men come together in a spirit of respect, safety, friendship, and hope.

What are the durations of your different retreats?
Our retreats run two days and nights, generally beginning on a Friday evening and concluding Sunday afternoon.

Does your retreat center offer ongoing groups or coaching?
A Victories of the Heart weekend is only the start of a journey, one that its participants can continue together in the form a support group, typically meeting every other week. Victories groups are all facilitated by qualified members of the weekend staff.

The group experience offers weekend graduates a place where they can further pursue their individual work, taking it to deeper levels and, in the process, developing the kinds of warm, open, and authentic friendships that many of them have never known before. Through the group they also learn skills involving introspection, openness,\ and communication that they can bring to their relationships outside their circle. Some of our groups have been meeting for more than twenty years, sharing their experiences and helping each other to achieve lives of greater balance and satisfaction.

Do your programs offer degree or continuing education credits?
No.

Describe any community contributions or activities your retreat center participates in.
Throughout its history, Victories of the Heart has placed a high value on our responsibility to the larger community. Each year we sponsor a day of service during which weekend graduates gather for a project such as the refurbishing of a battered women’s shelter. We also hold an annual fundraising dinner and donate a portion of the proceeds to those in need – last year to the victims of hurricane Katrina.

Are there any special events, ceremonies, or travel/pilgrimage retreats that you hold?
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Your Participants

Who is an ideal participant for your retreats?
The men who participate in our weekends vary in age, race, background, and sexual orientation. Whatever their differences, most have several qualities in common. They have come to the weekend only after overcoming their fear of it. They have reached crossroads in their lives, places where they feel blocked, helpless, or hopeless. They seek to find a new direction through an experience that goes beyond their current counseling or therapy, one that is more sustained, more intense, and more likely to help them achieve significant breakthroughs. They share a commitment or openness to looking deep within themselves, facing what is hidden there, and disempowering it by accepting it.

What are some of the benefits/results participants see after attending your retreats?
Based on the evaluations they complete following our weekends, the participants experience a number of benefits:
* An overwhelming number feel a tremendous sense of release from grief, anger, fear, or shame that, for years, they have kept locked inside and hidden from themselves.
* They arrive at a deeper knowledge of themselves, a greater clarity about how they came to be who they are, and a greater intentionality about how they want to be in the future.
* They become far more sensitive to how they behave towards the people closest to them and why. As a result, they improve in their ability to develop and sustain intimate relationships.
* They discover a new sense of community with a group of men who, despite having met only hours earlier, understand each other more fully than do people they have known for years.
* Above all, they feel an unexpected liberation from the things that have blocked them for years.
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Leaders

As the founder/owner what is your background?
Bob Mark, Ph.D ., is a clinical psychologist with a successful private practice. He also serves as a consultant to the executives of Fortune 500 companies. Through innovative programs, like Mindsprouts (creative problem solving) and Psycho-Chi (mind-body-spirit awakening), Bob has helped individuals, couples, and corporations for over 35 years. Bob has been married for nearly 40 years and has two married children.

Buddy Portugal, M.S.W., L.C.S.W is a psychotherapist who counsels individuals, families, and groups in the Chicago area. He also acts as a consultant to businesses and organizations and has lectured internationally. Buddy has been married for over 28 years and has two grown children.

Bob and Buddy co-founded Victories of the Heart, which was one of the original groups in the men’s movement. They developed both the Initial Victories Weekend in 1985 and The Wisdom Years Weekend, which is the only retreat of its kind in the United States for men over 50.

What is the background/expertise of your facilitators?
Each Victories of the Heart weekend is co-facilitated by a team of two men, at least one of whom is a professional therapist. Our leaders have extensive experience in group dynamics, are passionate about the work of healing men, devote many hours to the design and implementation of our programs, and have made substantial financial contributions to the organization. They are assisted by eight to twelve past weekenders who are graduates of an intensive three-day training program. Each of the following men has led weekends for the past three years or more:

Kevin W. Fitzpatrick, L.C.S.W., has been in the mental health field since 1973. He counsels individuals, couples, groups, and families and also consults with schools, businesses, and hospitals. As part of his mission to empower through healing, Kevin has a particular interest in and commitment to working with men. He and Paul Kachoris have co-facilitated the Initial Victories Weekend for over 15 years and have led numerous advanced workshops. Kevin has been a presenter at all of the Chicago Men’s Conferences, Oakton Community College Men’s Day, and the Second International Men’s Conference in Austin , Texas . Kevin has been married for over 25 years and has two children.

Paul J. Kachoris, M.D., is a board certified child, adolescent, and adult psychiatrist who has been in private practice for over 35 years. He has treated individuals, couples, families, and groups. Paul has worked in hospitals and has been a consultant to school districts, businesses, and courts. He and Kevin Fitzpartick have co-facilitated Victories workshops since 1991 and lead Advanced weekends. Paul has a passionate interest in fostering personal growth and development in men. He was one of the founding members of the Chicago Men’s Council and has been a presenter at numerous men’s conferences. He is married and has three grown children.

Steve Curry is a medical insurance executive who heads his own brokerage firm in the Chicago area. Steve has attended and staffed numerous Victories weekends for over ten years and currently co-facilitates the Initial Victories workshop with Joe Seldess. In addition to his work with Victories, he has participated in many native American spiritual programs that promote health and self-awareness. He has also developed expertise in massage therapy. Steve is married and has two children.

Joe Seldess, L.C.S.W.,has been a mental health clinician for over 30 years. He counsels individuals, couples, families, and groups and has been active in Victories of the Heart as a participant, staffer, and leader for well over a decade. Joe and Steve Curry co-facilitate the Initial Victories and the Advanced weekends. Joe is married and has three grown children.

Bill Martin, L.C.S.W., is a psychotherapist with extensive experience in individual, couples, and group therapy as well as issues pertaining to gay and bi-sexual men. Bill has attended our Initial Victories and Advanced programs and many other men’s workshop experiences. He and Kurt Schultz co-facilitate the Initial Victories weekend. Bill and his wife lead workshops for families. He is married and has one child.

Kurt Schultz is a senior litigation partner with the law firm of Winston & Strawn LLP and a current or past director of other civic and charitable organizations. Kurt attended his Initial Victories weekend in 1991, has staffed or facilitated all of our workshops, and has also attended a variety of other men’s experiential trainings. He and Bill Martin co-facilitate the Initial Victories weekend. Kurt has been married for over 32 years and has four grown children.

What criteria or special qualities do you look for in choosing your facilitators?
At least one of each weekend’s two facilitators is a licensed psychotherapist with experience in both individual and group work. In addition, our facilitators all share several qualities. They have a common core of beliefs, chief among them being the conviction that truly powerful healing occurs when we begin to do the things our culture has taught men to fear: summon the courage to plumb their own depths, feel their most intense emotions, reveal their hidden selves, and let others see the real man behind the public mask. Our facilitators have all devoted many years to doing their own work. They are all graduates of the programs they lead and have served many times as weekend staff members. Each is trained and experienced in the disciplines critical to the weekend, including group dynamics, communications, psychodrama, and guided meditation. Finally, they each possesses and encourages something that is an essential component of intense self-exploration: the gift of laughter.
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Facilities

Describe the setting where your retreats take place.
Our Initial Weekends are held at facilities that were designed as summer camps. They include House in the Wood at Delavan , Wisconsin and Camp Emmaus in Mount Morris , Illinois . In each of these locations, the environment is wooded and secluded, and the accommodations rustic but comfortable. We chose this kind of setting because they are peaceful, private, and natural places that encourage men to open their hearts, explore their past, and join in community.
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Other

How might someone prepare for your retreats?
The best preparation is openness to a new and deep experience. We encourage men to arrive with clear intentions about what they hope to accomplish during the weekend. It can also be helpful to read the book “Victories of the Heart,” which is available through our office.

What is the fee structure of the retreats you offer?
The weekend costs $590. At this time, there is no fee for follow-up groups.

Do you have any special fee considerations, such as scholarships or a cancellation policy?
No men are turned away from our weekends for financial reasons. Scholarships and payment plans are available to all who demonstrate the need.
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