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Being hurt by something someone has said or done is based on the idea that someone SHOULD be or do or act a certain way. In order for that to happen, we must first have had an expectation of something or someone. The only way we can ever be disappointed is if we have an expectation. Everyone has free-will. They can be or do anything they want! So can we! All we can do, if someone falls short of our expectations, is grieve.
The energy of anger, and the energy of being hurt, is actually repressed grieving. We repress grieving because grieving is percieved to be hard and painful. We don't like doing "hard" things! It's so much easier to be angry with someone, or to go to "hurt feelings."
Yet, HURT is something we do to ourselves in an effort to learn something- maybe that we shouldn't trust, or we shouldn't get close, or that we should be more suspicious of others. It puts the blame on someone else, and makes us a victim, which makes us feel satisfied, self-righteous. Something "bad" was done to us!
If we look back on the situation in retrospect, we can usually see that we had plenty of warning signs that we chose to ignore for a variety of reasons. We can also see that we created the situation with some of our own behaviors. Our self-awareness is in direct correlation with how we percieve our relationships. We draw every relationship into our lives and allow it to be there, and since there are no victims (truly- there are very few because 'victim' is what you make of something), we have to wonder what we were hoping to learn from this person or situation.
We can learn without "punishing" ourselves with HURT! Let's learn by owning our stuff, and with gratitude for that which each person brings us in the way of experience. Some of our greatest learning comes from our hardest lessons. Blessings!